Thank You for Speaking Up

After my last post and the talk that it was based off of, I received a lot of positive feedback. I had many people approach me (in public and private) and say how grateful they were for my honesty and openness. Just the fact that I had come out in a very public way to talk about things that are usually swept aside, meant a lot to those struggling or trying to help a loved one.

Not to bring everything back to my cancer diagnosis all the time, but this has been very parallel to my outspoken attitude about cancer, too. (FYI, I'll bring up cancer a lot in this blog. Too easy of a more "concrete" example, it's a huge part of my life, and I want to do cancer counseling.) By being open and honest about the struggle I went through with cancer, I've been able to comfort those going through tests and a possible diagnosis, and also people who just need a confidant during treatment. The cancer community can be a lonely one. It doesn't have to be. We just have to be outspoken and willing to talk.

The same can go for any battle with mental health. The more we are willing to talk to others, the better sense of community we can have and make this struggle not be so lonely. This is a tough thing to do, I understand that. Given the symptoms of many mental health concerns, it's almost a catch-22. However, once I realized that I was the type of person who feels better after just talking about anything, I decided that I would be more vocal about my struggles, be they cancer, anxiety, depression, or even my weight issues.

There is one note I'd like to add to this notion of being vocal. You don't have to give your heart away or bleed on everyone. (Yes, that's a metaphor.)

Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way. When I was feeling so lonely and scared going through cancer treatments, my depression was starting to choke me. It was rough. I started telling anyone who I talked to about all the feelings than ran through my mind. Every insecurity, every worry, I vocalized it to the next set of ears I could find.

Bad idea.

This ended up hurting me. I found that most of the people who I talked to, didn't really listen. They didn't have the time to be concerned about my troubles. They didn't have the understanding to really take what I was saying to heart. Essentially, the energy (what little I had) that I used to tell them about my woes, fell onto deaf ears. This did not deter me from speaking up though. I only learned to change what it was I disclosed to those who weren't ready for what I really felt.

Now, I talk in general terms. I state matter-of-factly that I had cancer, that I have anxiety, that I have depression. I talk about all the warning signs, about the symptoms of each. I talk about what you or those you love can do when presented with one of those difficult trials. I offer up an open set of ears for anyone needing someone to listen. I make myself educated and research resources. This is how I am an advocate and how I speak up.

The more intimate moments of my life's journey are kept for those people in my life who I know are there for me and will help and be concerned for me when I speak up. Yes, I've become a bit guarded, but I think you have to be with the personal details of your life.

Safeguard yourself, but speak up about your struggles. It doesn't have to be scary and I promise, it's really quite cathartic.